Let’s clear the air about something that’s often shrouded in unrealistic expectations: the instant bond with your baby. Society tells us that the moment we meet our newborn, we should be overwhelmed with love. But here’s the truth—this isn’t the reality for many new parents, and that’s absolutely okay.

The Myth of Immediate Connection

You’ve probably heard the idealized story that as soon as you lay eyes on your baby, you’ll be engulfed in a wave of love. But for over 60% of mothers or birthers, this isn’t how it feels. Instead, you might feel like the baby isn’t even yours, which can be confusing and disheartening. Remember, you’re meeting this tiny person for the first time face-to-face, and it’s a big adjustment!

Why This Happens

This initial feeling of disconnection doesn’t reflect your capability as a parent or the love you’ll come to feel. It’s a normal part of the transition into parenthood. Just like meeting any new person, building a deep connection takes time and familiarity.

Acknowledge the Pressure

Let’s address the societal pressure head-on. The expectation that you should feel an overwhelming bond immediately is not only unrealistic but also unfair. This pressure can make you feel inadequate if your experience doesn’t match this ideal. So, let’s give a big “f you” to these unreasonable standards that create unnecessary stress and guilt.

Give Yourself Grace

It’s crucial to give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling. The bond with your baby will grow stronger over time, as you spend more moments together. This is your journey, and it doesn’t need to adhere to anyone else’s timeline or expectations.

You Deserve Understanding and Support

You’re doing an amazing job just by being there for your baby. If you’re struggling or feeling uncertain about your bond, know that support is available. At Fourth Trimester Doc, we understand the complexities of new parenthood and are here to provide the compassionate guidance and support you need. Whether you’re planning for the postpartum period or currently navigating it, we’re here to help. Reach out to us on our contact page!

Embrace your unique path to bonding with your baby. Trust that love will come in its own time, and remember, you’re not alone in this journey.

We’re here for you,

Dr. Haggerty